If you're 26 how old does that make me? Let's see. 2013
minus 26 is 1987.I was born before you so I am at least 26. No that is wrong. I
was born in a later month than you so I am only at least 25. But Emily was born
before you so, assuming I am also her father, I have to add the difference
between your ages to my base figure. You are 26 (we'll assume that for now so
that we can make this equation work) and she is (given that she was born two
years earlier than you) 26 plus 2 equals 28, but she was born in an earlier
month than you so we have to add one to that giving 29. The difference between
26 and 29 is 3. Adding 3 to my base figure of 25 gives 28 so I am at least 28.
This would make me younger than Emily so, assuming that you are both my
children, the result would be irrational. That is because we forgot to add in
the age when I first had sex so the true result is 42. I hope that you are
sober enough to follow my impeccable logic. Thus, if anyone should ever ask
you: How old is your father? you will have a ready made and entirely
rational answer: My father is 42. I find this an entirely satisfactory
answer. It means that I am the ultimate answer to life. the universe and
everything. So you still have to do what I say.
