You need to know that a PMOS is a Prime Minister's Official Spokesman - something like, but not much like, Tony Blair's representative in this dimension. Why the PMOS was allocated this humiliating acronym (pronounce it) is anybody's idea but looks and sounds very much like a Civil Service internal joke against the PM. Of course, it could just be incompetence.
A petition is not a "lively political debate". In fact, it resembles a lively political debate about as much as a bendy bus resembles a red squirrel. The bendy bus and the squirrel are both red (but not quite the same shade). So, signing a petition and expressing an opinion are both indicators of viewpoint (but not quite in the same way).
Pressing some keys to register on a petition probably (but does not necessarily) require you to be alive (you could have set your computer to autofill before you died) but it certainly does not require you to be "lively" or to engage in any kind of "debate".
What he meant:
"We have to pretend that you are a nice bunch of sentients, and flatter you a bit, but we don't mean it and we are going to ignore your trivial attempts to resemble us."
The reality:
There is, however, a resemblance between a PMOS and a PM and one which they share with both the bus and the squirrel. They are all "bendy".
When it comes election time, it most certainly is "a matter of numbers".
What he meant:
"This petition thingy was thought up by a pratt who has now been reassigned to dustbins and I do not mean that he is engaged on high policy issues concerning refuse collection and recycling. He is emptying them."
The reality:
This policy represents a nasty piece of paper that the government intends to place in the nearest dustbin as soon as everyone's back is turned.
What he missed:
The use of "not entirely" suggests that the PMOS is only a bit mindless. Surely a fit for purpose PMOS should have an entire mind? Did the Civil Service Board miss something or is it just what happens when you become a PMOS? Do you have to volunteer or are PMOS's appointed? Do all the eligible civil servant's quickly find cupboards to hide in and the idiot who can't find a cupboard gets appointed? We need to know. Without this information it is completely impossible to judge the culpability of this particular PMOS or just how egregious the PMOS is. A public inquiry seems to be an immediate necessity.
What he meant:
"I'm out of mind on drugs. Why else would I be standing here in front of you?"
The reality:
The PMOS has a partner, four children, a cat and a huge mortgage. Bearing in mind that civil servants are unemployable in the private sector unless they are perceived to retain departmental influence, the PMOS needs to keep the job at any cost. The PMOS also does not relish emptying dustbins.
Conclusion:
Asked if he still thought that e-petitions were a good idea, and what numbers would have to be reached before Government put its hand up and retreated, the PMOS replied that it was always a good idea when there was a lively political debate. We had always recognised that there was a lively debate around transport as it was an issue that directly affected people's lives. Therefore, the livelier the debate, the better. But the debate in itself would not produce a solution. The crucial point about this issue was that doing nothing was not an option.What he missed:
A petition is not a "lively political debate". In fact, it resembles a lively political debate about as much as a bendy bus resembles a red squirrel. The bendy bus and the squirrel are both red (but not quite the same shade). So, signing a petition and expressing an opinion are both indicators of viewpoint (but not quite in the same way).
Pressing some keys to register on a petition probably (but does not necessarily) require you to be alive (you could have set your computer to autofill before you died) but it certainly does not require you to be "lively" or to engage in any kind of "debate".
What he meant:
"We have to pretend that you are a nice bunch of sentients, and flatter you a bit, but we don't mean it and we are going to ignore your trivial attempts to resemble us."
The reality:
There is, however, a resemblance between a PMOS and a PM and one which they share with both the bus and the squirrel. They are all "bendy".
He is also reported as follows:
Put to him that we could not just ignore this petition if it got to 2 or 3 million names, the PMOS replied that it was not a matter of numbers.What he missed:
When it comes election time, it most certainly is "a matter of numbers".
What he meant:
"This petition thingy was thought up by a pratt who has now been reassigned to dustbins and I do not mean that he is engaged on high policy issues concerning refuse collection and recycling. He is emptying them."
The reality:
This policy represents a nasty piece of paper that the government intends to place in the nearest dustbin as soon as everyone's back is turned.
One last report of what the PMOS said:
Asked if the Prime Minister thought that cannabis use was a bar to becoming Prime Minister, the PMOS replied that the journalist was trying to invite him, not very subtly, into political debate. He may have lost his voice at Croke Park yesterday, but he had not entirely lost his mind.
What he missed:
The use of "not entirely" suggests that the PMOS is only a bit mindless. Surely a fit for purpose PMOS should have an entire mind? Did the Civil Service Board miss something or is it just what happens when you become a PMOS? Do you have to volunteer or are PMOS's appointed? Do all the eligible civil servant's quickly find cupboards to hide in and the idiot who can't find a cupboard gets appointed? We need to know. Without this information it is completely impossible to judge the culpability of this particular PMOS or just how egregious the PMOS is. A public inquiry seems to be an immediate necessity.
What he meant:
"I'm out of mind on drugs. Why else would I be standing here in front of you?"
The reality:
The PMOS has a partner, four children, a cat and a huge mortgage. Bearing in mind that civil servants are unemployable in the private sector unless they are perceived to retain departmental influence, the PMOS needs to keep the job at any cost. The PMOS also does not relish emptying dustbins.
Conclusion:
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