How Not To Tell A Joke

The Times maintains a list of the top ten gaffes in various areas. Reading these will fill an idle moment or two. The title link takes you to one such list, but it links to all or most of the other lists so that is the only link I am posting here.

Here is a truncated example of the most famous and possibly the biggest gaffe of all time:

In the early 90s Ratners was one of Britain’s biggest jewellers...

When asked to speak at a dinner held by the Institute of Directors, [Gerald Ratner said:]...

"We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say, 'How can you sell this for such a low price?' I say, because it's total crap."

If you compare this with the original you may feel that The Times's sub-editor did not do all that he or she could or should have done.

The questions are:

1. What, of importance, does my version sacrifice?; and
2. Is my version punchier?

Here is the full text of The Times version:

Gerald Ratner (1991)

Ratners

In the early 90s Ratners was one of Britain’s biggest jewellers. You won't find a Ratners on the high street anymore though, and all because of a notorious gaffe made by Gerald Ratner, the company's boss.

When asked to speak at a dinner held by the Institute of Directors, he made the decision to lighten up his speech with a few jokes at the expense of his business. He joked that his Ratners High Street chain 'sold a pair of earrings for under a pound, which is cheaper than a prawn sandwich from Marks & Spencer, but probably wouldn't last as long'.

He didn't stop there adding: "We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say, 'How can you sell this for such a low price?' I say, because it's total crap."

He lost his job and the firm quickly changed its name (to Signet in case you were wondering).

His faux pas has since been immortalised in the phrase "Doing a Ratner", which means making a massive error of judgment. Fame of a sort.

My view is that almost all of the extra information in the above can and will be readily inferred by a reader of the truncated version.

The only exception is the actual name of the new company.